The word “fearless” is often thrown around as an impressive virtue, but if you think about it, there’s nothing great about being fearless at all. As human beings, we have to be afraid of certain things for the sake of our own survival, and therefore, not all fear is bad. Being completely fearless is actually a form of being numb, shut off, or in denial. 

The quality we admire and aspire to have is not fearlessness, but courage. Courage is the ability to find strength when feeling afraid, and to walk through the thing that scares you, because you know it’s the important thing to do. 

But fear is mighty and deceitful. It wants, more than anything, for you to give into it, and it is designed to convince you. You may begin to feel courageous, but find yourself sucked back into fear in an instant. 

Here are some techniques you might try to access and hold onto your inner courage:

• Remember That You’re Telling Yourself a Story 
  If you see a deadly snake slithering towards you and you feel afraid, that is a good thing, because if you don’t get out of there quick, it could kill you. If you’re, let’s say, in a coffee shop and no deadly snakes are even remotely nearby, but you’re afraid that one might appear at any moment and bite you, then you’re telling yourself a story. It’s exciting and dramatic, and your mind can get hooked on that drama, which gets you stuck in a fearful mindset but it’s not real. Realize that you have a powerful imagination and let go of the fictional story of danger you’ve written for yourself. You wrote it, so you can erase it. 
   
• Get Real
  Sometimes, we will be faced with danger that isn’t just a story, but a true threat to our lives. In the grand scheme of things, this doesn’t happen all that often, but when it does, it’s courage that will help us get through it. So, when afraid, first check in with yourself: is a deadly snake present or am I getting lost in a story? In the rare instance that you are in fact faced with the deadly snake and the situation is such that running away isn’t an option, courage takes the form of standing up for yourself with a clear head instead of self-destructing under the weight of panic. This snake situation is a metaphor, so let’s not dwell on those details. The point is that when faced with a real life situation, taking a deep breath and proceeding with a clear mind is the definition of courage.
  This technique can be summed up by the now annoyingly ubiquitous motivational phrase made famous in England during WW2: KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON. 
   
• Think of Fear as an Experience That Will Help You to Grow, Not One That Will Destroy You
  Fear exists in us so that we can survive dangerous experiences, so it makes sense that our minds categorize fear itself as dangerous. This makes us hesitant to approach things or situations we are fearful of, and can prevent us from growing and moving forward. The anticipation of doing something fearful can also cause anxiety and be physically crippling. For example, if you have a fear of flying, and you have a flight coming up in a week, you could be happily sitting on your couch when suddenly you remember that soon you’ll be in an airplane, and your heart starts to pound as you think, “What if during my flight there is bad turbulence and I feel afraid?”. You’re safe on your couch, but you’re in fear of being afraid in a moment down the line. 
   

This insidious cycle can be stopped by realizing that fear itself cannot hurt or destroy you as long as you don’t let it. In fact, we are capable of overriding our fears. But, more importantly, understand that fear is a crucial component to human growth. And you are human, aren’t you? Next time you’re afraid, tell yourself, “I am feeling afraid, I am experiencing the feeling of fear,” and know that getting through it will make you stronger. 

One of the worst things you can do for your mental health and your life is to let fear run the show. If you take a close look at your life, you might be surprised to see how many decisions you’ve made out of fear. This means, that like most, you run from fear. Instead, from now on, try to view fear as a fun challenge, and know that if you don’t shy away from it, it will get you to the next level in the game of life.